Thursday, July 7, 2011


I dreamt that my husband had cleaned out the basement and the garage. Except this ginormous armoire that still had some of the children's toys and blankets in it. I was happy and nervous that "important" stuff had been disposed of. Then a neighbor walked over and made some comment about the other stuff. I looked down the driveway and saw that everything had simply been put there. My husband was hoping people would just take it. But it was STILL THERE. And I could see it. The clothes, the stuff. The problem was still in front of me.

It never really does go away, does it? An addiction. Guilt. It's about how you manage it. I want to say "control" but obviously "it" controls me.

I am surrounded by so much stuff that could be sold or donated or discarded. I asked my son to sell some stuff on Craig's List or EBay (he doesn't have a job), and we could split the proceeds. Nothing. Not a damn thing. I could probably pull stuff out for a yard sale, but I would be embarrassed for my neighbors to see all of this shit.

But, good news. I stayed home form work today, so I haven't left the house, and haven't spent any money. I'm trying to unsubscribe to a number of email/commerce temptations, but they are relentless. I have to try to be just as relentless. In all areas.

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